Have You Lost the Right to Complain?
So I’m working on the leadership message for my team this week, and one topic keeps coming back to me: When people lose the right to complain.
Last month I was counseling a team member in Texas. He spent about ten minutes complaining about everything under the sun. I finally got him focused on the issues of his business, and we agreed that to get going, he needed to host a presentation.
A week later I checked in again. He started complaining again. I asked if he had scheduled the presentation. Of course he hadn’t. So we agreed he would set it up in a few days.
Then I checked in after that. Guess what?
You got it. So finally I told him in a loving way, he no longer had the right to complain. I know what works. I told him what works. Other members on my team have demonstrated what is necessary to make it work. And if this guy or anyone else will do those things, they work.
But he wasn’t willing to do that. So he dropped out. And I’m ok with that. Because I would love for him to be a breakout success in the business. The man has a lot of talent and true potential for greatness. But until he has the character to do the work, I can’t help him.
A lot of people in our business like to bitch and moan about their sponsor, company, price of the products, economy and lots of other distractions. But how often have they been shown exactly what they must do to advance, and they aren’t doing it? That is the part about closing the gap we discussed yesterday.
Now everyone owns their own business and we don’t force you to do anything. But if we teach you what to do, and you don’t do it, you lose the right to complain about it.
So what about you? Are you doing the business or complaining about the business? And if you’re complaining, have you lost the right to complain? And if so, what are you going to do about it? Food for thought.
-RG
Some times tough love is the best and yes people will drop out as a result. Just move on to the next.
Wow. Now that was such a powerful message.
Randy,
Interesting topic for sure, The Right to complaint. People must be accountable to themselves and the rest of their team, they must also have integrity. “do what you say and keep your word” if you cannot do that in this business or in life, chances are that you will fault the entire word. instead of looking at the common denominator “you”
Cheers
Hi Randy. I believe that complaining only gives bad energy and that we don’t want. 😉 In this business isn’t there anything to complain about I think, because it only has to do with your own effort how good or bad your business goes. I can’t complain if I don’t work. Simple? Yes very.
Take care everybody and good luck in your business,
Vickan
You called it like it is. Great story.
Regarding complaining.
I sincerely believe that individuals who complain are lacking total responsibility for their own actions. We call it locally the “Job Culture”
It is only after I started calling one of my new distributors “Whinger” and asked him why he was always trying to make excuses that he began to realise what he was doing. (by the way his wife agreed with me). Surprise, surprise this person is now turning into a good distributor……….Maybe that is the answer, just ask them why they are “whinging” and making excuses for their initial lack of activity. In my particular cases is seems to work.
Regards Mike (U.K)
Wow! Was THAT ever dead on correct! As usual, a very “spot-on” analysis Randy!
Randy… you nailed it my friend.
As you said, they can do whatever they want since they are not an employee and we can’t threaten them with a pink slip… BUT following the steps to success is their choice.
And 99% of the time when they complain all they have to do is look in the mirror for the reason.
Thanks for the reminder!
– Ken
GVO Academy Instructor
I do not complain, but I don’t do as much activity as I could do, because I have a fear to be rejected. I can’t get over this.
I understand what you are saying, and in a way I am experiencing the same problem in my business…but where I totally disagree….is your use of the word “can’t”….because I am sure you and anybody else “can”, but it’s a matter of getting enough of yourself not doing it so that you will do it no matter what!…just my two cents…cheers! And Merry Christmas to all of you out there!
I know where you are at. Imagine that you already are a success. What have you been doing to get there? It is your view of your self that is limiting you. You are perfect as you are right now. How long are you going to let your view limit your success?
Have a perfect day!
//Iwan
I recognize this, Laurynas L. This fear is causing so much tension. I do a lot of things which I’m afraid to do the first time. Like going to networklunches and dinners etc. But it’s always easier than I thought it would be, when I’m there and talking to people, But the fear of rejection is always there of I tell something about my business.
Still going on trying new things every now and then and hoping I get over it one day!
Not everybody is open minded and not everybody is close minded. So,Laurynas L, keep on trying to HELP others, asking them questions about their life and see if your business can help them!
It doesn’t feel like rejections if you ask the right questions first, and if they are “right” for your business, the business can be right for them.
Lots of success!
Stella
How about, “Going for NO!” You are not being rejected, your opportunity is. But the more you make it available, the more opportunity for YES you will have.
You are absolutely right Randy, sometimes you just have to let those ones that complain go. I have friends that were in a previous company with me and I will not call them now because of that fact, they complain about everything under the sun. And they see me succeeding and wonder why I don’t call them. They themselves don’t want to change and do what it takes to succeed. They rather set around watching “the soap box,”set on the phone and gossip about what ever and live a life in drama. Just like Jim Rohn once said “some will some won’t I wouldn’t sign up for that class” just let them be.
Hi Randy,
WHAT did he complain about ? Is it a TRUE complaint ?
Or just an EXCUSE to postpone ANY activity……. move on…. 🙂
about the guy whis was complaining about everything under the sun,
and did nothing forto make better any situation.
there is a saying in my language to discribe this matter/
“you can bring the horse to the water’ but you can’t make it drink”
I can see everyone jumped in the vaganbong praising you for your decision. We don’t know what was he complaining about.
What if he had told you,”My grandfather was a miner,my dad was a miner, and that’s all I know to do.” I feel guilty if I make money withou doing physical labor.
It is clear to me until someone changes his/her limiting beliefs, they are not going to be succesful in this business.
You are the perfect example. Weren’t you a “failure” for 5 years or so?
So, if you told me,”To just Do It.” I will tell you to go hell too.
I don’t know how much counseling you did with him. If you told him and SHOWED how to see and change his limiting beliefs, and he is not willing to do it, well I agree with you.
Yes you are completely correct. And rest assured that the activity I was counseling him to do was a simple “plug and play” one that he could do immediately.
-RG
Hi Randy,
This is so right on the mark. So many people choose not to look inside themselves and figure out what they need to change in order to move forward to achieve great success in their network marketing business.
I am so thankful for leaders like you and the great leaders in my business that I can learn from.
We all need to remember to be students of the people who have walked before us and paved the road for success.
Thanks again.
God Bless!
So what should we say to the guys who do what we ask for a long period of time but don’t get long term success?
As much as there is a formula for success it seems to be very unpredicatable from person to person and country to country no matter how inconvenient that may be.
Is that really true? I believe there are predictable patterns which transcend individual results. So the issue then becomes what the person is doing to sabotage the results. And that usually goes back to self-development. We can explore this more in a future post.
-RG
What was stopping him from moving forward?
I have only been in mlm for 3 & half years with the one company. It has taken me a long time to realize that it was better to see the complainers leave than for me to waste any more time with them.
As much as we want those we sponsor to be successful- it is impossible to drag them to it.
Depends on what a person complains about. I try to show them that the company, the product is there as is. It will not change for the whims of one person. Every company has its positive and negative points so it is a question of choosing the one that you most identify with. They will be given all the support and training necessary to develop their business and make it work….as thousands have proven that it DOES work!
Some people want things that are counter productive and I show them why. I think we have to listen to peoples objections and give them importance and then show them how to overcome these “dificulties” and how they dont havwe to interfere with their work. People join the business genuinely wanting to get results. If they are having trouble we should do our best to help them through this.
However, I also let them know that I expect them to be proactive. Every actiion I take to help them I expect and action from them in return. This is probably similar to what you do Randy, and it is dificult to judge without having the details
In my small group of remaining complainers the complaint is always to cover up not wanting to share their business with anyone they know. No one has shown me any business where people remain anonymous. What are they really afraid of? The guy in the mirror.
I may not be as active as I want to, but I own it. The nice thing, not the greatest thing about network marketing is that my success is contingent on one thing — ME. If I have 30 show up for a presentation or 3 — it’s always a success in my eyes because I did something, got the message out.
Want personal success…OWN it!
Provocative post Randy. Great discussion starter. Thanks.
I found particularly helpful the comments by Alfred and also Rachel Henke.
It strikes me there are two different types of complaining. (Which I think is what Alfred is getting at.)
1.
Something goes wrong so you articulate that issue to your upline.
It may be useful to get it off your chest. Then, having got rid of the burden, you can move on.
It may be that your upline, hearing that issue, can offer a solution, or a different way of doing something so that it works better. Or even so that it works when it didn’t before.
It may be that on reflection, having articulated that issue, you yourself realise you can change something so that it works better. Or even so that it works when it didn’t before.
All the above are valid.
2.
You complained about it before. A solution was offered. But you did nothing. You complain again. At this point, complaining becomes whingeing and can easily lead to making excuses.
(And surely that’s what Randy’s OP is talking about.)
Of course, this assumes your upline or yourself came up with some solution to improve things and that you put it into practice. But what if neither your upline nor yourself could see a way through? (Which is what Rachel Henke’s question addresses.) That would be a little different, wouldn’t it?
For some reason your comment was suspended in the Spam filter. Good thoughts here. You’ll like where we go with the next posts I think.
-RG
Sure, but there’s a “hidden” issue here. Ultimately, many people don’t want to be told EXACTLY what to do. So, it can be a turn-off as well.
I heard TV is made to be simple enough for someone at 4th grade in high school to understand, and that sure has paid off! However, I’m not sure the same should be applied to Network Marketing as initial approach to everyone.
There’s more to “duplication” than meets the eye, which has been covered here before, i.e. no matter how much of the same you do, you will never be that other person who made it by following the same system.
There’s more to it than just “doing the same”. It’s a mindset, or mind-pattern that has to change first for most people, and that takes a lot of time, or lifetimes. Same reason “The Secret” doesn’t work for most people.
So, in a sense, Network Marketing, in its simplicity, even though it’s not “easy”, is too much of a “no brainer” for many people. However, therein also lies its “hidden” power!
[quote]Sure, but there’s a “hidden” issue here. Ultimately, many people don’t want to be told EXACTLY what to do. So, it can be a turn-off as well.[/quote]
I agree that many people don’t want to be told EXACTLY what to do. However, then this may not be the business for them.
Here’s what I mean.
When someone buys a brick & mortar franchise, there is no deviation from the franchise rules as to how things are done. The franchisee has very little, if any, flexibility on how their store is supposed to look, operate, etc. They have a very specific plan that they are supposed to follow as set forth by the franchise.
A friend of mine owns a local UPS franchise and they (UPS Corporate) has specific rules even on how business cards from local businesses are to be displayed on the bulletin board in the store. If the franchise owner deviates, then UPS Corporate can fine the franchisee.
Franchises have these rules and their model in place for a reason, so that every store follows the same model. We all talk about how McDonald’s is the perfect example of this. Walk into any McDonald’s anywhere in the world and it’s the same.
In a way, we’re in the massive franchise business if we want to achieve duplication and long-term security. It’s like the telephone game we played in school as kids. There can be no deviation from the first all the way through the 20th.
People have to be willing to follow the plan. If they are not, then don’t work with them. Find people who will.
this is wad i do when my kids whine when they were young – i tell them i don;t understand a word you are saying cos it sounds like pig’s language. when you are ready to speak english or chinese (our mother tongue) let me know. i am glad they learned real fast and i have 3 great teenage kids now who don’t fret nor whine nor complain. they learnt how to express themselves coherently.
in network marketing, it is sometimes more challenging cos we deal with adults, some much older than myself. and yet i have to tell them to grow up and until they speak like adults, i really cannot help them. so i leave them to sort themselves out.
yes randy you are right that it is a character problem but a lot of times it is also attitudes and habits people acquire in the growing years.
instead of asking them to get out, i tell them i am of no help to them until they decide if they want to live the rest of their lives like that. i respect their right to choose how they want to live. but i have a good and happy and positive life and i will draw my boundaries against anyone that tries to rob me of it but i will wait .. until they decide to change their lives.. then i can be of use to them.
god bless you all and have a good christmas!
Your word really strengthens my belief and plan. Thank you so much, Randy!
Trainer Michael Clouse teaches that when you call a team member, you just want their number, meaning how many people did they present to this week.
He doesn’t want their story or their excuses, he just wants the number.
Because the number will tell the story.
I only zipped past all the blog posts here, but I am sure this is a complaint forum. All I want to say is the next time you “dis” a MLM company, I want you to be seated in your FORD, DODGE, and ANY vehicle you own when you do that. Think about the struggles and losses put into the automobile industry before you got your brand new wheels to cruise around in and whine about MLMs.
In fact, google “the ford motor company story” or ” The story of chevrolet” or “the history of Honda Automobiles” (for those of you who sold out on America AND whine about MLMs” Just think, they are all MLMs that depend on car sales to exist.
So as not to be truth-crammer, Have a Wonderful Day 🙂